Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, look into my eyes so that I may see it all.
Help me to see all things in creation, as though they stand. And allow me to admire all that which I AM.
If you’re like me, married with a heart driven by the desire to be close to our Lord Jesus Christ, or even single with the same driven goal, then I hope you would open up your eyes to this passage.
What is the one thing we all intend to do when we look into a mirror?
It’s obvious we stare into it to make sure we look our best. We survey the seen to make sure everything looks how we expect it to be, whether that is brushing our hair, brushing our teeth, shaving, putting on, or wiping off something on our face such as makeup etc. We simply take in the admiration of how we look through the vanity image on the wall.
But what happens when we see a blemish or flaw that we do not like? We try to cover it up by any means necessary. Of course any bumps and bruises in our image requires the proper adhesive to help said scars heal, but most of us will tend to disguise our own natural God-given aesthetic, and not appreciate the image for what it truly is, or how it truly looks.
In our culture today we have the common materialistic ways of disguise such as glasses, sunglasses, hats, wigs etc. that help us hide ourselves so that others cannot see us. Sadly, even technology has taken that a step further with social media sites that create a filter image of those objects as well as illusions of animal extremities such as eyes, ears, noses, mouths, among other body parts. It even has a makeup filter that portrays the impression of a beautiful vanity. There are several different other things to create just that; a virtual illusion of something that is not really you.
What’s even worse is this same technology even allows us to take photos of ourselves with these virtual masks, and post them to our social media, giving others a impression of ourselves. Though our society has invented the idea of the “Selfie” portrait that we seemed to inherit as a part of our culture today, the world gave us a tool to assist with hiding our natural, God given beauty that the majority of us have taken and run with. Sure it is meant to be for fun and games, but that is all that should be used for, recreation, and not intention, as our creator did not intentionally create us to hide from ourselves, or even our neighbors for that matter. We are called to show ourselves off from the natural clay that were made of, and for who we really truly are.
This is not so much our external looks, but even how we feel on the inside can sub-consciously disturb that image we see. This happens because life is tough, and things happen to us in this life that we may not like that affects us externally, internally, or both. Thus, it is easy for us to be critical towards ourselves, that can easily be beaten into its own image self-hatred of any and all of the flaws that of which any mirror whatsoever may portray back at ourselves.
Thus, causes us to put up some sort of internal shield that acts as a mental block that bleeds down to our conscious that in turn subconsciously creates a negative image in our heads in which corrupts our minds to lose sight of that we were all wonderfully made.
Now I understand completely that there are a lot of people who really do need the kinds of aesthetics and adhesives just to get through life on a day-to-day basis. I really hate the fact that there are people who truly must suffer through natural defects and deformities, but even those people have to realize that there is a purpose of living even for themselves.
My point is that even though a person such as a blind person can still find advantages to that in which he or she cannot even see. Perhaps it is for another story, but though the Blind cannot see an image of themselves, they’ll still find ways to make their True presence felt.
For those of us who are fortunate to use our own eyes, why not take advantage and use our vision and Focus on the Person, even the person’s that are right in front us.
Having said that, let me take a moment and explain how this mirrored image may look within a marriage. And I think this quote that I got from a book I read called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas sums it up best, when the author himself quotes a passage from another book:
One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have said, “Here’s to helping you discover what you are really like!”
-a quote from authors Gary and Betsy Ricucci in their book Love that Lasts.
If you are struggling in your marriage, I strongly recommend this book. Or perhaps if you’re not married quite yet, but thinking about it someday in the future, might I recommend this book give you a head start. This above mentioned quote pretty much sums up what it means to be married all together in my opinion. At least in my own experience, after being married once before, and currently in a marriage of 9 years, in which in the middle of those nine years having moved from one side of the globe to another side, especially after been living the vast majority of my entire 40-year-old old life in the one state. That experience among others, have led me to truly understand that quote, that it is not entirely your spouses’ fault who you are or what you have become.
It is simply suggesting that your spouse is like a mirror that bounces our reflection right back in our faces. Here is my own interpretation on what I believe is being said. Is that we spend a lifetime developing certain traits, habits, that define our character, and it is through that character we inherit over the years that when acted it out in front of somebody else with those same inherited habits and traits which will only reflect right back to us like a vanity mirror to our own self made images. In other words, your marriage should not act as a mirror, but more as a window of opportunity.
Marriage is an opportunity to gain God like courage and take off our masks, let go of our filters, knock down our walls while exposing our flaws, but, here’s the part where it might get a bit scary; it’s not to surrender ourselves so much to our spouses, but surrender ourselves to, well, ourselves. Better yet our creator, Lord and savior Jesus Christ. We must mature within ourselves with the help of our Holy Spirit, and not rely on our spouse to make us happy. If we can do this, and mature through, and become Christ-like, then we can see through those windows, look past the mirrors, and walk with our heads held high in confidence that we can get through anything.
This is what hinders a lot of us these days, we quarrel and fight, while hiding our internal characters behind things that are external. What a lot of us fail to realize though is that if we expose these flaws with a great sense of integrity and humility toward others, whether it is a spouse, neighbor, or both, then we will not have to rely on a false hope.
So, let’s go back to the mirror on the wall for a moment. Now I am not foolish to know that I am not the only one who talks to himself at times while looking directly into that person’s eyes that I see reflecting right back at me. I’ll admit, there was a short period of time where even I did not like looking at what I saw in the mirror every day, but I come to realize over the years that the guy in the mirror wasn’t going anywhere, and so I was kind of stuck with him no matter what. So, I decided to start praising him by showing gratitude, and smiling while staring right at him and telling him that he was going to have a great day no matter what, with a smile still intact. I became confident in what and who I am more and more over time, the more and more I did that.
I shall encourage you to do the same thing. Even if you don’t like the person you see, may I ask you to just remain patient and give it some time and allow the clay to form.
Have Blind Faith.
No False Hope.